Slow Burn
by Nythtak
Summary: Reincarnation does not always go smoothly. A young girl survives the Uchiha Massacre (except she doesn't, not really, Haruka is dead and Rei is dead but they are alive and that is wrongwrongwrong-). In her head two sets of memories and personalities battle for dominance (painpainpain whoisshewhoishshe-), and she is doesn't know whether to laugh or scream. Uchiha!OC-insert
1. Chapter 1

She wakes to the feeling of dying.

Her skin is tearing _– tear __**tear**__ cut the flesh dye it red and black – _apart, pulled at the seams like one of those old woolly jumpers, stretched and tugged until it's _wrenched _from her flesh. Peel the flesh back, layer by layer, make a mountain of her – _take my Sword, my Shield, but never shall you touch my Will _– she laughs and laughs – w_hat Will is this you speak of, you impotent worm of the masses, you liar that damns with every breath at once itself and another _–

Agony, fiery agony that _lashes _through her, thrums of pain that seek to dominate her, to _destroy _her, and it is working – her bones are _crunchcrunchcrunching _snapping like sticks, like weak little sticks of white and might that are so so _easy _to snapsnap_snap. _It is a pain of the basest sort, a torturous lullaby that rots with each line it croons, a soothing smile that _twists _and _tears _because it _can, _because it is strong and she is weak and _what power do you have now? What good is your glory and your honour when you are __**dead**__. _

It is music, a dying symphony of screams that fills her head with its grand crescendo. The body the mind _rip its apart _she is nothing she is everything because everything she is is being _broken burnt_ _ruined _and she is _falling flying __**dying**__ singing_ _sighing _– _how human, how inhuman; which is which, that's the question – _

And she is _remade._ The pain is gone like it never existed _– how can something so terrible have never existed? – _and she is _aware _in a way that the agony had deprived her of. _She_ is _breathing – _huge, heaving gasps that shred her throat and feel oh so _wonderful – _in and out, lungs inflating, not pierced by broke ribs or shredded by merciless claws. It's all she can focus on _breathebreathebreathe _because it means she's alive - _she's not supposed to be alive – _and that's good right rightright_right?_

She- she's lying on the ground, she can feel the cold surface. She's on her left side, arm trapped beneath her and head resting just above it. Her feet are bare – _bare of your trophies and your medals, where is your worth now? – _and her toes are a little numb. She – she's _cold, _she realises, and such a fact has never been more fascinating. She can feel it, feel the prickling of her nerves in response, feel the goose bumps raised on her flesh, and it is _glorious. _It's a pain that's not a pain, a burn that doesn't burn and blacken and decay.

Eyes- she has eyes – _eyes that see eyes that blind eyes that pick and choose the truth of mankind_. She should open them, right? Pull the eyelids back, that's it, you can do it. And she can _see._

It's dark, but she can make out a wall and a bed. No, it's not a bed, it's a futon. Her friend has a futon. They used to sit on it and play Truth or Dare, and she would always do the dares, no matter how reckless or embarrassing the dare was. Her friend was good at coming up with fun ones, _dangerous _ones, it's how she got this scar, see?

The wall is painted an off-white colour, like the paling skin of a man who has learnt his wife was dying from an incurable disease, or old piano keys that have seen much use over the years. She's facing it, with the futon between her and the wall, and she watches it for a time before realising it isn't going to do anything – _silly silly why would a wall do anything? Maybe maybe it would go on an adventure, rescue the princess and defeat the evil dragon? But but I like dragons no no you're not supposed to like the dragon, the dragon is the bad guy and everyone knows the bad guys always loses and the hero always wins hmmm is that sooo? – _so she thinks she'll try to move.

Where to start where to start – fingers! She thinks and remembers how they work, and soon they're curling into a fist. She stretches them again to make sure that she can definitely move – _can anyone give me the definition of living? Uh, things that breathe and move and stuff, I think. Not quite right; all organisms don't necessarily breathe – try to get used to the term 'respire' instead – and plants certainly don't move, do they? No, sir, I guess not – _before rolling over onto her back.

She stares up at the ceiling curiously, wondering if it is staring back at her with eyes she just can't see. Should she introduce herself? That would be polite, wouldn't it? Mother always said it was best to be polite _– puts them off guard, you see_ – so she lifts her hand in offering of a handshake. But then the sight of her arm distracts her, and she ignores the ceiling – _oh how rude, she hopes she hasn't hurt its feelings –_ in favour of the appendage.

It's shorter than she expects – _yet it's just as she expects _– thinner and paler than she is used to – _no, it's always been this way _– and when she turns it she can see her palms are slightly calloused, and there are a burn scars painting her fingertips and a little of her middle and index finger down to the knuckle. This isn't right – _this __**is **__right. _She doesn't have burns on her hands – _she __**does **__– _her skin has an olive tint to it _– her skin is pale like the rest of her clan _– she doesn't _have _a clan – _of course she has a clan, the clan is everything-_

Her breathing is quickening and her head is hurting and _what is this what's going on where am I what happened _and and andandand _**who**__ am I?_

The answers clash against each other, vying for dominance within her poor, fractured mind.

She is _Rei Harris __**Uchiha Haruka-**_

She lives in _**Konohagakure **__London-_

She is _twenty-three __**eight **_years old-

She is _**an Academy student **__a medical student-_

Her family is _dead __**dead- **_

The concurrence slams her thoughts together, fragments colliding and twisting and filling in the gaps and she's s_creaming _and she's _laughing _and she can hear people talking panicking ordering and her eyes are closing and-

She wakes and opens her eyes. She is somewhere else – _the piano key walls and the watching ceiling is gone – _somewhere with whitewhite walls and it is _bright _and it hurts and makes her want to shut her eyes, so she opens them wider instead. She is in a bed this time, sheets stiff and uncomfortable and there's an IV in her arm. There is the familiar smell of antiseptic in the air and she knows she is in a hospital.

"How are you feeling?" A hesitant voice asks, and she turns her head to them. It is a woman, a nurse she guesses from the uniform, with a pretty face and dirty blond hair. She's considering answering – _Japanese she's speaking Japanese she's glad mother was so insistent she not forget her heritage – _when the nurse tacks on, "Uchiha-san?"

And suddenly her head is full of _noise. _It is flashing images and sounds and memories and faces_ - she is Rei Harris she is Uchiha Haruka - _and it hurtshurts_hurts. _

One part of her – _Rei - _insists that this isn't real, that this world is fictional; she can't possibly be in Konoha, and she definitely can't be an Uchiha. This world is just something a man made up, something she reads and sometimes watches as an idle pastime. The real world doesn't have things like _chakra _– _hum hum humming beneath her skin crackle and burn and smoke – _or ridiculously superpowered shinobi – _blurred forms leaping across rooftops "you need to practise with your kunai more or you won't get better Haruka-chan"._

Another – _Haruka _– says that this is her life, this is her home, it's _real. _She is an orphan of the Uchiha clan, taken in by her aunt and uncle when her parents died. She's near the top of her class at the Academy because she knows the only way to survive is to get strong enough that no one can hurt you. She doesn't have any friends at the Academy because the girls think she's weird for being so focussed on learning and not having any interest in typical Kunoichi skills like flower arranging – "_Rei, what are you doing with those matches?!" "The flowers wanted to hug the sun, see, but the sun is too far away. They're so cold, kaa-chan. I want to help them." _ But she doesn't care; she pairs up with Sasuke on group assignments and they work well together so her teamwork score isn't abysmally low, and when she gets home Shisui is always willing to help her-

But Shisui is dead – _Danzō takes his eye and Shisui gives the other to Itachi "…protect the village…and the Uchiha name," he says before falling falling falling and __**how does she know this?! **_- and her aunt and uncle were killed – _Itachi? Why is he – _and _she _is killed – _it's a clean stab, Rei observes, meant to kill quickly and cause as little pain as possible – _and her head _**hurts.**_

She's hunched over her knees, cradling her head and rocking backwards and forwards, desperately trying to quell the noise. Flashes of memories taunt her and batter her, demand her attention even as they flit away. Two sets of lives fight each other – _which is right which is wrong which is real which is false who is she who is she who is she who is she – _and she can't _think._

A hand touches her and she flinches back away, eyes scrunched closed as she presses her face painfully into her knees. The distraction brings relief for but a moment before it is overwhelmed by the noise assaulting her mind, physical pain drowned out by mental.

"Uchiha-san?" A voice says but it sounds gargled like it's from far away or through water and it makes her head _pound._

She – _Rei Haruka who is she who is she what is real what is false who is she – _starts speaking, _begging, _barely registering the words as they pass her lips in a helpless prayer. "No no no no no leave me alone leave me alone. Go away go away go away stop stop _stop _it hurts hurt hurts hurts help me help me go away go _away!" _

At her shriek the hand retreats and she feels relief for maybe a second before she is consumed once more - _Rei Haruka who is she who is she what is real what is false who is she- _and she is dead, dead twice but if she is dead what _is this _how can she be alive? How can she be two people in one and one person in two torn apart ripped apart _tear tear cut the flesh dye it red and black _and sewn together but it won't work because the pieces of the puzzle won't fit aren't the right shape but they keep trying, keep jamming themselves together and it _hurts-_

More voices. "What's going on? What did you do to her?!"

"U-uchiha-san! I'm sorry, you can't come in here-"

"Get out of my way!"

"Uchiha-san! Wait-"

"Haruka?" There are hands on her shoulders, and she realises she is shuddering violently – _Haruka Rei Haruka Rei Haruka Rei Haruka Rei – _"Haruka! Open your eyes," the voice demands softly, gently, and she finds herself listening even as – _Rei Haruka Rei Haruka Rei Haruka Rei Haruka –_

She's looking into black eyes just a few centimetres from her own, pretty black eyes that really are _black, _pupil near indistinguishable from the pupil. The face – _his _face – is rounded childishly, pale skin like her own – _not her own _– with black hair and a worried frown. He's young, around her age – _much younger _– but what catches her attention and _holds _it is that she recognises him, both parts of her do, and the cracks in her mind latch onto that fact.

"Sasuke?" She murmurs hesitantly. The fragments of the lives – _her lives _– stretch and shred and grapple with each other, trying to find order in the chaos, but entropy must always increase for a reaction to go but this isn't a reaction this is her mind and its begins to _click. _

The boy, Sasuke, smiles a little in what looks a lot like relief and hope and fear and a heart-wrenching grief. "Are you okay?"

She's stopped shaking. "I'm here," she answers, because she's not okay, she's really not, but she thinks that both Sasuke and she need to know this. "I'm here," she repeats, and she is Haruka _and _Rei.

His smile wavers and she sees the tears forming in his eyes, but she knows he understands. "Y-yeah, you're here." He throws his arms around her and she jolts, before slowly relaxing as she feels the dampness forming where his face presses against her shoulder and his shaking as he stifles his sobs. _A child, he's just a child _she thinks with the memories of the story Rei knew, of the hours of watching his clan die over and over and over Sasuke had likely woken from not long ago. _Since when has that meant anything _she thinks with the memories of Haruka who watched her parents die and heard her uncle and aunt's screams and felt the blade as it pierced her heart.

So her arms hang limp at her side and she doesn't notice when her spinning _spinning_ red eyes soften to black, before sliding shut into the cold grip of unconsciousness.

* * *

_It seems that lack of sanity is something increasingly common in my OCs. _

_Well, Haruka/Rei here is my experiment in writing a rather nonsensical thought process, sort of inspired by reading Alice in Wonderland. _

_I wanted to make an OC who doesn't care/realise the consequences of their actions not because of stupidity or short-sightedness, but simply because it doesn't register in her mind. Expect a 'blue and orange' morality and a habit of giving away key information._

_Please leave a review and let me know what you think so far. Pairing ideas are always helpful, though romance won't be the focus. _


	2. Chapter 2

Haruka – _that's the name she picks, for now, because she is Rei and Haruka and Rei and Haruka but this body is Haruka and so _she _is Haruka _– trails along behind Sasuke, her hand held firmly in his as he leads her down the road.

She can feel the stares of the people they pass, feel the way her skin itches unpleasantly beneath their blatant interest. They are curious and horrified and pitying and cautious, and she wants to blind those staring _staring _eyes to make them stop. She doesn't though, because bereft of their sight they would simply find other ways to stare that would be all the more intrusive, and she doesn't want that.

So instead she peers at the buildings and the trees and the market and the stalls and the sky, a blue _blue _sky stained with the white clouds trudging across its depths. She tilts her head back and watches it with avid eyes, thinks of the airplanes that leave scars in their wake and wonders if the sky ever screams in anguish at the wounds. But there are no airplanes in Konoha, Haruka knows, and a shudder ripples down her spine.

She hadn't been allowed outside in a week, confined to a hospital bed by the bars of concerned _nurses and doctors _medic-nin and shinobi. She was unconscious for days, they say with worry in their voices and caution in their eyes. A group of ANBU found her in her home, catching her moment of lucidity before she was consumed by that dreamless sleep, yet there wasn't a scratch on her. She can see the questions they dare not voice; why was she left alive, this unimportant child, when so many perished?

Sasuke doesn't let them ask. He scowls and growls and yells at them to go away, never straying far from her for too long a time. His terrible grief has twisted what was once a kind-hearted child into a bitter, cold boy forced to grow up too quickly, too harshly, and he latches on to her existence with the possessiveness of a scarred dragon guarding its vaunted treasure. Some distant part of her is wary of the forming dependence, sees only the growing darkness in the stricken boy and his undeniable brittleness – oh so ready to snap_snapsnap _– but she is not so intentionally cruel as to deny him the comfort of knowing he is not alone.

And she does not wish to drive him away. In this world where she in unsure of what is fiction and what is truth, where she knows too much yet far too little, Sasuke is far more _real _than any other. She knows him in both sets of memories, however different the circumstances, and that gives her something to anchor this confusing existence to. As long as he is real so is she.

Often she gets lost in her own head, staring blindly into space despite panicking nurses trying to rouse her. Her surroundings fail to register in favour of the jumble of _thoughts feelings memories _that snarl at their inert contradictions and attempt to restore balance where none can be found. Sometimes she thinks that she might go wandering in her mind and never come back _(wander the woods wander the seas wander the mountains of bone and dust-)_.

But over that long week – _has it really been a week? It feels like so much longershorterinfinitedefinite -_ Sasuke has developed a knack for bringing her back. Hands on her shoulders, black eyes locked on her own, a mantra tinged with desperation – "You're here Haruka, you're here, come back, _please_ come back" – for what is sometimes hours in an attempt to coax her into a more stable frame of mind. It gives her something to latch onto as she tries to ground herself, something to focus on that feels more _real _than the wailing ghosts in her head. She is crazy, insane, out of her mind – she knows this, but he helps her feel _real _(_not a lie not a dream not a story alive alive alivealive__**alive**__), _and that is all that matters.

The people at the hospital don't think so. They want to give her medicine that will make her feel better, they say, and she forces herself to throw up every pill they force her to take until Sasuke makes them stop. He shouldn't be able to – he's a child, how could he possible know better than trained professionals? – but he is an Uchiha, one of the last three in existence (_as far as they know but she __**knows **__and it hurts hurtshurts) _and they can't afford to go against him. He is more valuable to the village than they are, and everyone knows it.

That is why, when Sasuke demanded they be released from the hospital and take up residence in the Uchiha district once more, there was little anyone could do to stop him. Due to some obscure clan law as the de facto clan head Sasuke is essentially emancipated, meaning that even the Hokage can't force him to be taken into the care system of the village. They could force him if they wanted, but will they risk alienating the remnants of such a powerful clan _(betrayed them once, perhaps a second attempt is in order-)_?

Haruka is under Sasuke's guardianship as the only other remaining Uchiha, so where he goes, she goes. Not that she would left him voluntarily – the part of Haruka that is _Haruka_ wants to cling to the last of her clan, whilst the part of her that is _Rei_ is unwilling to desert the sense of familiarity she has with Sasuke in favour of strangers (_who are they who is she whoisshewhoisshe_).

When they reach the gate leading into the compound Sasuke gradually slows before coming to a stop, the ANBU squad tailing them halting a short distance away. Sasuke stares ahead blankly, eyes haunted with visions only he can see but Haruka can imagine well enough _(dying dying dying family his __**family **__all of them dead)_. She squeezes the hand holding hers and his tense muscles relax just slightly. He continues walking with new-found determination.

The streets are empty and silent, a labyrinth of empty homes and lingering ghosts. With Haruka's eyes she sees the bakery her aunt would send her to, the one that makes delicious pastries which the owner's wife often gives out to young children with a warm smile on her weathered face. She sees the small park Shisui has dragged her to a few times, grinning at her when she scowls at him from the swings as he pushes her. She sees the tall tree she loves to climb, venturing high into its branches and staring down, breathlessly, at the view.

She sees blood flooding the street, staining the pavement a vibrant shade of red (_sanguine sanguine laugh and dance in the slaughterhouse circus). _She sees the grotesque corpses of her family, arrogant faces contorted with a terror that sliced into their pale skin with the elegance of a knife's edge. Their hands stretch feebly towards her, a silent plea for an aid that would ever come, and the sheer agony of the knowledge swells and rises in a wave of noise. She hears the symphony of screams that announced the blade as it twirled, a conductor of the macabre tune echoing hauntingly in her ears, beautiful in its horror.

Her steps don't falter as she follows Sasuke, eyes flickering over her surroundings like a bird caught in a pretty bone cage. They approach the clan head's house and she sees the ANBU spread out across the perimeter, close enough to come to the two Uchiha's aid but far enough that they did not intrude. Sasuke doesn't notice, his hand tightening around hers as he walks towards what had once been his home but will always be a grave.

The door is unlocked, and it swings open to hit the wall with a hollow _thud _as Sasuke hesitates in the entrance. It is a silly, prideful thing that binds him to this place, a sullen determination not to run and a longing for the life that was. He closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath whilst she silently watches him, following when he steps inside.

It is quiet, ever so quiet, as if even sound has fled this dreaded place and left a sheer _emptiness _in its wake. They remove their shoes - the familiarity of a habit engrained – and, hand in hand, venture further into the hollow home.

Like a wire wrapped taunt around his throat, Sasuke is unable to resist trudging towards – _stench of iron redredred kaa-san tou-san? Dead dead deaddeaddead__**dead**_ _**Itachi **_– and when he drops to his knees Haruka falls with him. His eyes are wide and empty as they stare at the place where his parents died, the pale wood clear of the deserved bloody memorial. Is it crueller, to leave the house untainted, as if the Uchiha never existed? Perhaps it would be better for their corpses to fill the streets – at least then none could forget them.

Turning away from the _blank blank nothing there never there is this real? _not-stain Sasuke presses his forehead against her neck, and though her skin remains dry his body shakes against her. For several moments she is unsure, staring ahead at the wall as her arms lay limp at her side. She is unused to giving out comfort, both Haruka and Rei rarely being put in such a position, but she knows the motions.

She wraps her thin arms around his shoulders, wondering if she is doing so correctly when Sasuke stiffens. Does he want to be left alone? Is her presence making this worse? For a moment she worries – will she be thrown away and abandoned in this small boy's quest for revenge, will she become a 'bond' that makes him weak? – but then he releases a shuddering breath and relaxes into the comfort she provides, allows himself to push away the _griefpainhorrorfear _and focus on the other's warmth.

They are not Sasuke and Haruka, Uchiha survivors – they are simply a mourning boy and a lost girl.

And then Haruka looks into the shadows and she sees – _red eyes twirling scythes stained blade "There is no value in killing the likes of you… My foolish brother… If you want to kill me… curse me! Hate me! And live a long and unsightly life… Run away. Run away-"_

"-and cling to your pitiful life. And then some day, when you have the same eyes as I do, come before me," she murmurs in an echo of the walking dead, feels the lies and corruption and hate and sadness and love taint her tongue as she speaks. Rei weeps and Haruka rages and she wonders why she wants to laugh until her throat bleeds.

Sasuke freezes – _oh, he listened _– and wrenches himself back, staring at her with wide, shocked eyes. "How- how do you know what _he _said?" he asks before darkness steals the innocence from his features, leaving insidious hatred in its place. "Did he tell you this to _taunt _me? To make sure I'd never forget? Because I won't! I'll find him, and I'll kill him!"

Haruka frowns and tries to _think. _She wants to tell him the truth – _always tell the truth because even the best of lies will unravel and turn your pretty kingdom to dust _– but the words won't fit together in her mind. All she can say is, "He didn't tell me. I know…I know the web but I'm broken and my head _hurts." _

And it does _hurt, _all that knowledge of the future and the past and what is real and what isn't real and how can she be sure if the truth she thinks she knows is even the truth? She knows a story, not a life. She knows a clan, not a family. She knows a character, not a little boy. If she is wrong and it is false – how can she be the harbinger of such chaos?

Sasuke looks confused – _of course he's confused, of course he's scared, of course of course – _but the malice has leaked from his expression, leaving concern in its wake. In childish ignorance he places a hand on her head and frowns. "You're not injured, so why does it hurt? Did the medics miss something? Do you want to go back to the hospital?" He grimaces slightly at the thought of the room they'd been locked in, of whitewhite walls and false smiles and watching eyes, and she smiles just a little.

"I'll be okay, I think. The pieces will find their place before the dawn burns the leaf, and the moon blankets the world in red."

* * *

_So, not much happened except Haruka's mind makes a _bit _more sense, but I hope you liked it all the same. She's generally going to be quite lucid and talk like a normal person, though most social conventions just go way over her head, which will be fun to play with. When she's not being cryptic as hell (congrats if you understand what she's saying, though I don't think I made it too complicated) she's pretty blunt since she doesn't understand why she should be polite. Well, I think I'll make her like that._

_I hope kid!Sasuke is at least somewhat recognisable, since I'm trying to combine what I know of his character and how I think a kid as traumatised as he was would react in this situation. Oh, and he knows Haruka is pretty much insane, but he's very protective – he didn't know her that well before the massacre, but I think if one person _had _survived Sasuke would get attached to them. _

_For anyone wondering, Haruka's aunt and uncle that she mentions living with are supposed to be Shisui's parents, so that's why she knows Shisui since they live together. _

_Please leave a review! Any feedback always helps motivate me into writing, as well as giving me inspiration a lot of the time. As I mentioned last time, any ideas for eventual pairings are welcome though romance isn't the focus. I'll probably go with what comes naturally, but suggestions often help me think up situations that I wouldn't have on my own. _


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